Psalm 127:3 "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him."
Tonight, as I write this, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the children God has blessed us with. They are happy, healthy, smart, beautiful, and so filled with energy and love. I love being able to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight.
However, today, we almost lost Caleb. While at a family gathering he and another cousin wandered off and found a door that led to the outside. Away from us. My sweet, smart Afton came upstairs and told us that the two boys were missing. They were downstairs and then they were not.
As a mom my heart dropped. Instantly I try to be calm and think they must be hiding. As I walk downstairs I realized they had found a set of stairs. Knowing where it leads I take the steps two at a time and burst through it.
I am staring at the tennis courts. Nothing. No Caleb. No sound of my son laughing. I run around the side of the building calling his name. Nothing. I run to the front and towards the playground. I try not to think of the worst. I see people walking around outside and try not to imagine them with my son.
He's not on the playground. I run back around. My cousin says she can't see them. I call his name. Trying not to panic. Still nothing. Where is my son?
All of a sudden my cousin says she sees them. They had crossed the parking lot and were under the carport. They had opened a car door and climbed in.
Relief flooded over me. As well as fear...of what could have happened. The "what if's?" started flooding my mind as I brought Caleb back inside. Safe. Within my sight.
He had no idea what was going on. To him he was just walkin' around. To me it was my worst nightmare. My biggest fear.
Once I was inside it took a minute and I was doing ok until my cousin looked at me. I must have looked panic stricken because she said, "Are you alright?". That was all it took. My emotions came out in a flood of tears. The adrenaline that pumped through my body just moments before was leaving my body tired while the raw fear stayed.
I was so overwhelmed with thankfulness. God protected my son. He didn't let anything happen to him. Both boys were safe.
The "what if's" still play through my mind. I still feel the helpless, lost feeling. Not knowing where to look. Not knowing what direction he would have taken.
I cannot imagine how parents (mothers) feel when they lose a child due to "natural" reasons or other reasons. I cannot imagine the pain, heartache and emptiness they must feel after such a tremendous, heart wrenching loss.
I can understand (now) how it takes tremendous faith to stand up, trust God, and worship Him in spite of such a loss. I admire the many women who's blogs I found and read faithfully. To get up each day, be a wife, a mother, a daughter, sister, friend....and I only lost my son for several minutes.
So, please treasure your children. Hug them. Love them. Squeeze them. Smile and laugh with them and tell them many times each day how happy you are that God blessed you with them. They truly are a blessing from Him. You never know if that moment will be your last.
Thanking God for allowing me to be a mom,