You know when people say they have a heavy heart you nod your head in understanding? Well, sometimes I wonder what they mean by a heavy heart. What does it mean to them? What are they feeling at that moment?
I was sitting here trying to think of the right word for how I feel, and "heavy heart" came to mind. It described perfectly what I feel inside right now!
It's not worry or confusion. It's not frustration or anger. It's not sorrow or heartache. Just "heavy hearted".
I know that I am blessed beyond words to have a personal relationship with God. He has done amazing things in my life over the past 4 years. Things that I never thought would happen. At one point I knew that things needed to change, but I didn't even know how to ask God to change those things. I had the desire to change, but it just seemed so hard, and it was so easy to just be who I was. Why should I change? I like being who I am!
It was during those times of "liking who I was" that I realized I wasn't the person God wanted me to be. So I prayed. I prayed for His help because I knew that I couldn't do it on my own. I didn't really think I needed to change, but God did. Slowly He worked on my heart. He changed me.
Today I see how I respond to things and what a difference between now and 4 years ago! My goal is to please God, not myself. My goal is to honor Him in all that I do and say.
So, what's the reason for the heavy heart?
I guess it's just knowing that there are people who make excuses for doing or saying things because they want to. They may know it's wrong, but they want to do it so they will. Then they will apologize for it after. Shouldn't we be sensitive to those things before they happen? Shouldn't we be looking out for the interests of others before ourselves? Isn't that what God would want us to do?
I am finding fewer Christians who hold true to the Word of God. Now please don't think I am judging people. I am watching how they live, how they talk, how they interact with others and if I didn't know them I wouldn't think they were a Christian. Maybe I would think they are good people who go to church. I do know that there is an accountability that we are to have with each other, fellow Christians. Where does that begin and end? I'm looking for your thoughts on this one.
I've been praying for God to show me what He wants me to learn. I don't want to walk around telling people what they should or shouldn't do, but at the same time I believe I shouldn't sit quietly and say nothing. Ideas?
Today I feel that it is so important to be a clear testimony and image of Christ. If we don't reflect Him in everything we do then I think we're missing something. I'm not saying we'll be perfect...I know that I am not...I will make mistakes, but I pray that they will be fewer and fewer as I become more sensitive to God's leading.
Anyway, that's all that was on my mind tonight! I know, not exactly the light and fun stuff I usually post, but then again, I do have a serious side! *chuckle*
I'm tired now so I'm off to bed! I may read this tomorrow and take it off especially since I will have had a whole night to think about it!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
I've officially been tagged!!!
I've been tagged, called out, challenged....so...I'm stepping up to the challenge...thanks for thinking of me Apple. I feel so cool! I have to warn my flock of readers though, I'm a bit sleepy so don't hold me responsible for all of my answers, ok?...Ok...here we go
Fun stuff....
What I was doing ten years ago. Ten years ago, let's see, I was planning a wedding that was set to happen 4 months later. I was also house hunting or making an offer on a house that would be signed for in August. (Wow...talk about going back in time!)
Five things on my to-do list. Only five?!
1. Grocery shopping
2. Vacuum living room
3. Enroll Afton in swimming lessons
4. Balance checkbook/pay bills
5. Finish laundry
Things I would do if I were a billionaire. Pay off the rest of the debt we have, set up college funds for the kids, take care of my family, give money to worthy causes, donate to a church I grew up in and our current one, buy a larger house so (hopefully) we won't have to move again and my kids can grow up in it, buy my hubby a really nice bass boat, a set or two of golf clubs, and a trip to the place of his dreams. Save the rest and do the things we want to do as a family. Put money away for retirement.
Three bad habits. Drinking lots of coffee & buying coffee at Starbucks, saying I'll check "one thing" on the computer & getting caught up & taking longer than I should, not sticking to my grocery list
Five places I have lived. Various cities and towns in NH & in Alaska for 2 1/2 months
Five jobs I have had. Best "job" ever - being a WAH/SAH mom (hardest too!!!)Receptionist, Contact lens coordinator/manager, CSR for contact lens manufacturer, waitress at a retirement community
So, that was lots of fun....
I'm going to tag anyone and everyone that reads this. Leave me a comment when you repost so I can go check it out!
(That wasn't so bad...*whew*)
Fun stuff....
What I was doing ten years ago. Ten years ago, let's see, I was planning a wedding that was set to happen 4 months later. I was also house hunting or making an offer on a house that would be signed for in August. (Wow...talk about going back in time!)
Five things on my to-do list. Only five?!
1. Grocery shopping
2. Vacuum living room
3. Enroll Afton in swimming lessons
4. Balance checkbook/pay bills
5. Finish laundry
Things I would do if I were a billionaire. Pay off the rest of the debt we have, set up college funds for the kids, take care of my family, give money to worthy causes, donate to a church I grew up in and our current one, buy a larger house so (hopefully) we won't have to move again and my kids can grow up in it, buy my hubby a really nice bass boat, a set or two of golf clubs, and a trip to the place of his dreams. Save the rest and do the things we want to do as a family. Put money away for retirement.
Three bad habits. Drinking lots of coffee & buying coffee at Starbucks, saying I'll check "one thing" on the computer & getting caught up & taking longer than I should, not sticking to my grocery list
Five places I have lived. Various cities and towns in NH & in Alaska for 2 1/2 months
Five jobs I have had. Best "job" ever - being a WAH/SAH mom (hardest too!!!)Receptionist, Contact lens coordinator/manager, CSR for contact lens manufacturer, waitress at a retirement community
So, that was lots of fun....
I'm going to tag anyone and everyone that reads this. Leave me a comment when you repost so I can go check it out!
(That wasn't so bad...*whew*)
A quick trip down memory lane
The other day a series of events got me thinking (dangerous, I know!)
It was Saturday, the day of my sisters dance recital, and I was sitting in the auditorium with Afton, my mom, my sister, and my soon to be sister in law. The recital hadn't started yet so Afton was freely roaming the aisle. Good thing we were in the back! She had her moments of normal 4 1/2 year old behavior like not wanting to sit still, wanting to take endless pictures with our cameras, and eating more M&M's. I was in "mommy mode" so I would answer her endless questions and correct her when she needed it.
Here is the kicker....
My mom looks at me and say, "I hear so much of myself in you when you are talking to Afton. I used to say the same things to you." (Ouch!...ok..just kidding on the "ouch" part)
The second was when I was driving home later that evening. Just before pulling into the grocery store I flipped the radio station and came upon Garrison Keillor. Just hearing his voice and listening to the stories brought me back to a time when I was sitting in the back of my parents car wishing we could listen to something more fun!
Here I was sitting in the parking lot at the grocery store, listening to the radio program I used to hate, laughing, and then (hold on to your seats!) writing something that he said down because I thought it was hilarious!
If that wasn't bad enough I remember my parents listening to Paul Harvey. As a kid, can you say "boring"? As an adult, can you say "informative and entertaining"?
Ummm...yeah...I know...scary!
Ok, here is my list.
1. Your mom says she hears herself in you when you talk to your own daughter (oh boy!)
2. You listen to Garrison Keillor, laugh, then write what he said down so you remember it (gasp)
3. You listen to Paul Harvey and nod your head in agreement or understanding (uh-oh)
4. You listen to Garrison Keillor and Paul Harvey and you don't change the radio station!!
I just hope I have the best of both of my parents!
...and now you know...The Rest of the Story. (My dad will get that one *love you, Dad*)
It was Saturday, the day of my sisters dance recital, and I was sitting in the auditorium with Afton, my mom, my sister, and my soon to be sister in law. The recital hadn't started yet so Afton was freely roaming the aisle. Good thing we were in the back! She had her moments of normal 4 1/2 year old behavior like not wanting to sit still, wanting to take endless pictures with our cameras, and eating more M&M's. I was in "mommy mode" so I would answer her endless questions and correct her when she needed it.
Here is the kicker....
My mom looks at me and say, "I hear so much of myself in you when you are talking to Afton. I used to say the same things to you." (Ouch!...ok..just kidding on the "ouch" part)
The second was when I was driving home later that evening. Just before pulling into the grocery store I flipped the radio station and came upon Garrison Keillor. Just hearing his voice and listening to the stories brought me back to a time when I was sitting in the back of my parents car wishing we could listen to something more fun!
Here I was sitting in the parking lot at the grocery store, listening to the radio program I used to hate, laughing, and then (hold on to your seats!) writing something that he said down because I thought it was hilarious!
If that wasn't bad enough I remember my parents listening to Paul Harvey. As a kid, can you say "boring"? As an adult, can you say "informative and entertaining"?
Ummm...yeah...I know...scary!
Ok, here is my list.
Top 3, I mean 4, reasons you know you're becoming like your parents:
1. Your mom says she hears herself in you when you talk to your own daughter (oh boy!)
2. You listen to Garrison Keillor, laugh, then write what he said down so you remember it (gasp)
3. You listen to Paul Harvey and nod your head in agreement or understanding (uh-oh)
4. You listen to Garrison Keillor and Paul Harvey and you don't change the radio station!!
I just hope I have the best of both of my parents!
...and now you know...The Rest of the Story. (My dad will get that one *love you, Dad*)
Friday, May 2, 2008
Quote of the Day
I found this quote on a forum that I read. It was part of one of the ladies "signature lines" and I had to share...
It made me laugh, but I also realized how true it actually is! Anyway...enjoy!
"I've seen the village and I don't want it raising my children!"
Amazing Video
Wow!!
(that's pretty much all I can say, except that it's hard not to get teary eyed watching this)
Silly girl
I realized the other day that Afton isn't just growing up, she's maturing...aaakkk!
She's only 4 1/2, she can't "mature" yet!
Unfortunately there isn't anything I can do to stop that so I may as well enjoy it.
While it is challenging to deal with the 'tudes, it's also very amusing to see what she comes up with!
She's only 4 1/2, she can't "mature" yet!
Unfortunately there isn't anything I can do to stop that so I may as well enjoy it.
While it is challenging to deal with the 'tudes, it's also very amusing to see what she comes up with!
For instance, Afton comes up to me yesterday and says, "How do I look?". As I turn around, this is what I saw...
Then she started to giggle
So, I will enjoy the moments of little girl silliness
because I will miss them when they're gone!
because I will miss them when they're gone!
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