Joy In Motherhood

I have found a new joy in becoming a mother for the 3^rd time.

One could argue that it's age & wisdom. Others could say it's because I know what I'm doing now. I can tell you one thing...it's definitely not because it's easier. Going from two to three children has been the biggest adjustment of my life. Things take longer. More people need me. Work load is increased and I still have all the “normal” things that need to be done.

So, while age, wisdom and knowledge may be true I think it's something deeper. Something only God can give to a mom. It's a joy that only comes from Him. Knowing this is what I was created to do is so comforting. I am exactly where God wants me to be right now.

Even through many sleepless nights and crazy days I still look at Claire when she is nursing and am filled with a love that I can't describe.

I look at my other two children, Afton and Caleb, and feel so blessed that God would see fit to make me their mama.

So when things get tough and I get tired...when I feel so exhausted and discouraged...I try to remember that “this too shall pass” and I should enjoy every kid filled moment while I can. They will soon be grown and gone and I will wish for these moments again.

My house may be covered with kid items, but I will treasure it while I have it because soon enough my house will be empty and spotless. It is then I will be wishing for another load of laundry to do, more homemade pictures on the wall and endless amounts of toys to step over.

Psalm 127:3 (NASB) "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

True Confessions - Mommy Style

(I'm trying to come back slowly...I really am...I make no promises though!)


Only three confessions today:

• The other night Claire spit up all over one of my shoulders. I was so tired I just wiped my shirt off with a towel and went to bed.  It dried.

• Last night Mike taught the kids how to play Halo on Xbox. They are having a blast shooting things.  (Even though I normally don't condone shooting!)

• Last night I danced with Claire to The Doors “Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)” - she loved it!  (I don't condone drinking with children :)  The song has a nifty sound though...very dance-able!)

That's all I can come up with right now.

Perspective

More importantly having the right perspective. The Godly perspective. I will admit I struggle with this more often than is right. I don't know why. I know what my calling is. So, why is it such a struggle?

Ultimately I think it comes down to feeling "used" or "unappreciated". Not that we are being used, but we feel like we do so much and it just goes unnoticed and our needs aren't recognized. I have to pray daily for God to change my perspective and give me the right attitude during the day. I know I am blessed to be able to stay home with our children. I am so thankful for that and I don't wish for anything else.

However, I want to show my children the correct way to serve and that is to do it regardless of whether there is thanks involved or not. Our strength comes from God. Our reward is in knowing we are raising children for Him and we are keeping house for His glory. Not ours.

Around Mothers Day I received an email. It's one that I receive periodically. It was such a wonderful blessing and reminder to me so I wanted to share it with you today.

For all the moms who feel that their efforts and labor goes unnoticed or is done in vain....God knows. God sees. God is blessed and honored when we do these things cheerfully. Our reward and thanks may never be found here on earth, but in heaven.

So, until then I will continue on doing what He has called me to do, and I'll be working on doing it cheerfully all the time!

(and I'll hope for a "thanks" or "good job" along the way!)

Enjoy the article below which was taken from an email ezine I received.

Mother you are appreciated...

Mother’s day is just around the corner and I thought I would drop all my subscribers a short note!

So often we get bogged down in the diaper-change-wipe-nose-feed-toddler-routine that we forget to take some time to realize that we are doing one of the greatest jobs imaginable.

If you have chosen to stay at home with your little one there is not much, usually, to show for how your time is spent and there is definitely not a pay check waiting for you at the end of the month!

But while others go out to build careers or businesses, you too are building a future in your children by being there for them and by spending time with them, training them and well, just being mommy!

So may I just encourage you, mom, by saying – “Mother, you are appreciated!”

And a last thought for you:

Invisible Mother...... (Annon)

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask me a question.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Until next time
Wendy

Today's Quote

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I read that.

Then read it again.

Then thought about how it applied to me.

I'm ashamed to say I may say things one way, but my actions say something entirely different.

For instance, in my calling to be a mommy:

When I talk to the kids am I telling them they need to be kind to each other, yet I sound frustrated? Do I tell them to get along, yet I am raising my voice? Am I explaining things to them in love or impatience? Do I look at them when I speak or do I say things as I walk away?

I know my children will not learn what I am trying to teach them if I don't take the time to train them. Look at them. Speak to them at eye level, not above them.

So, here are my two challenges this week:

Laugh more

Be sincere in word and deed

1 John 3:18
"Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions."

In someone else's words

I don't really have too much to say today. It's one of those days where me and the kiddos are sick, so that makes for a quiet day. At least, I hope it does. I'm just praying Caleb actually sleeps tonight.

So, instead of reading what I write, how about reading what someone else has written. Good? Good.

I was really encouraged by this blog several days ago. So, I thought I would share the link and I pray it will be an encouragement for those of you who may need it or just a great reminder of who we draw our strength from!

Linkage

As I sat down this morning with my cup of hot coffee I was intent on "fixing" the problem I ran into last night with blog updating. I'm trying to come up with a new, fresh, comfy look and my attempts last night failed miserably.

So, I sat down and the first thing I ended up doing was update my blog list. No problem.

Then I started looking at some that had posted and a title caught my eye. So I clicked on it. Which lead me to another post. I clicked on that.

What I read was so perfectly placed it could only be a God thing! If you've never experienced God in a unique, unexpected way then we need to talk. It always amazes me how much our God loves us. The God that created the universe and is all mighty and all powerful knows even the tiniest detail about us! How amazing. That is another post for another day though.

Back to what I read.

So, the title was "Can We Really Discover Joy in the Journey?" and it started with a letter (more like a plea) from a mom of 3 little love bugs whose husband is deployed.

The "letter" is basically about a mom who has lost her joy. She so easily got caught up in training, teaching, discipline, correction and keeping the house together that she just does it. She does it because she has to, not because she wants to.

I know I can relate to those feelings. There are times and days that I just keep going to make it through the day. Check the items off my list so I feel like I have accomplished something that day.

What I miss seeing is the accomplishment in making my children laugh. It's an accomplishment to sit and read with the kids instead of doing that last load of laundry.

What I miss on those days is the silly grins from my children. I only see the glares they throw at each other. I miss the laughter and correct for the unkind words they use. I miss the quiet play, but ask them not to yell.

Do you see where I am going? Some days I get so focused on teaching, training and correcting that I miss all the good stuff I'm supposed to see!

The author of the blog, Kendra, gives this woman several very important things to think about. That is what I want to link to this morning. Please check out her post.

The most important thing we can do to start our day is spend some quiet time with God. Start your day off the way you should and the day may not be easier, but you will have the groundwork laid to properly handle whatever challenges arise.

Treasure the gift of children

Psalm 127:3 "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him."

Tonight, as I write this, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the children God has blessed us with. They are happy, healthy, smart, beautiful, and so filled with energy and love. I love being able to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight.

However, today, we almost lost Caleb. While at a family gathering he and another cousin wandered off and found a door that led to the outside. Away from us. My sweet, smart Afton came upstairs and told us that the two boys were missing. They were downstairs and then they were not.

As a mom my heart dropped. Instantly I try to be calm and think they must be hiding. As I walk downstairs I realized they had found a set of stairs. Knowing where it leads I take the steps two at a time and burst through it.

I am staring at the tennis courts. Nothing. No Caleb. No sound of my son laughing. I run around the side of the building calling his name. Nothing. I run to the front and towards the playground. I try not to think of the worst. I see people walking around outside and try not to imagine them with my son.

He's not on the playground. I run back around. My cousin says she can't see them. I call his name. Trying not to panic. Still nothing. Where is my son?

All of a sudden my cousin says she sees them. They had crossed the parking lot and were under the carport. They had opened a car door and climbed in.

Relief flooded over me. As well as fear...of what could have happened. The "what if's?" started flooding my mind as I brought Caleb back inside. Safe. Within my sight.

He had no idea what was going on. To him he was just walkin' around. To me it was my worst nightmare. My biggest fear.

Once I was inside it took a minute and I was doing ok until my cousin looked at me. I must have looked panic stricken because she said, "Are you alright?". That was all it took. My emotions came out in a flood of tears. The adrenaline that pumped through my body just moments before was leaving my body tired while the raw fear stayed.

I was so overwhelmed with thankfulness. God protected my son. He didn't let anything happen to him. Both boys were safe.

The "what if's" still play through my mind. I still feel the helpless, lost feeling. Not knowing where to look. Not knowing what direction he would have taken.

I cannot imagine how parents (mothers) feel when they lose a child due to "natural" reasons or other reasons. I cannot imagine the pain, heartache and emptiness they must feel after such a tremendous, heart wrenching loss.

I can understand (now) how it takes tremendous faith to stand up, trust God, and worship Him in spite of such a loss. I admire the many women who's blogs I found and read faithfully. To get up each day, be a wife, a mother, a daughter, sister, friend....and I only lost my son for several minutes.

So, please treasure your children. Hug them. Love them. Squeeze them. Smile and laugh with them and tell them many times each day how happy you are that God blessed you with them. They truly are a blessing from Him. You never know if that moment will be your last.

Thanking God for allowing me to be a mom,

Protecting your parenting rights

This is something that caught my attention today.

First, watch the short video with the father of this 7 year old boy.



Now watch the video from a headline news show...



It seems that our parental rights are slowly being stripped from us. We don't seem to know how to teach our own children, so they say. The government is putting their hands into family lives that they have no business being part of. The government thinks they know what our small children should be learning (see this article for proof of that. Hit "next program" to read the next part of the interview).

It is so important for us, as parents, to be so involved in our children's lives that we know what they are being taught in every situation. Another area we need to be careful of is making sure we have open lines of communication with our children. Making sure we speak with them openly about how God wants us to live or lives. As parents, we have a God given responsibility to teach and train our children the difference between right and wrong. Not the way the world sees it, but the way God sees it. We need to be their primary teacher and example on how to live their life!

This doesn't mean we shun people because of their background, lifestyle or past/present choices. It does mean that we are to be a light, a witness to these people. Praying for them constantly in hopes they will give their lives to Christ and turn from their sinful lifestyle. This doesn't mean we condone their behavior at all. This just means that we are a witness for Christ. Lovingly and gently counseling them and teaching them the correct way to live.

This is just one of the things I've been thinking about today. I wrote it how I thought it. Definitely not "perfect" in anyway...just from the prayerful heart of a mom!

For fun

Apparently I can't nap between 12 - 2...something about not be able to fall asleep?! It's really not fair since I need to catch up on the sleep I lost last night. So, since I took time off of work to nap, and couldn't, I nursed my headache (because lack of sleep makes me feel hungover) and decided to do something for myself. That would be sitting on the couch with my laptop and doing nothing constructive. While "blog stalking", or should I say "blog admiring", I came across this blog. As I was reading through some of her previous posts she had a link to this site. (Just to give you a heads up, they use some off color language and suggestive humor, not extreme profanity though, otherwise I wouldn't link it) It had me cracking up!!! It's "In the Motherhood" and I've seen one or two ads for it, but didn't think anything of it, but today I watched all the episodes!! This was definitely a good find on my un-constructive day off! Not the nap I wanted to take, but laughter is always the best medicine, right? Anyway, check it out if you have a second! I'm going to go eat some chocolate chip cookies right now and take two aspirin.